Emotion of Ms.Emotionless

August 3rd 2007, 2:12 AM

It's funny. I told myself not to go to sleep late few days ago, because I knew, I really knew, it's sickening waking up in the middle of the morning (what I mean is it's still morning but not morning enough, around 9-10am). I can't stand the blurry vision and dizzy sensation that strikes me if I do so. But what am I doing now? Finding myself don't want to go bed nor doing something I possibly would enjoy. I just thought that I wanted to type something, although I'm not enjoying it recently. I'm also not sure about what to type. Just type type type type,, I hope my fingers understand that their owner is just in a fucked up mental condition because she had to deal with fucked up situations in fucked up moments and it's all making her lost and just want to say FUCK. FUCK. FFFFFFFF.....FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKK!!!!

I'm not gonna sorry for being rude. I just wanna let loose.

I am not an expressive person. It's so not me to show my emotion in understandable words or action. Most of them are just meaningless body language.

I often say "Umm,,yea, maybe,," when I actually want to say "HELL NO!"

or I would prefer to say "Mm-Hmm,," rather than say "YES, ABSOLUTELY".

When I dislike something I think I'd better show a straight face rather than anger look.

When I hear joke or something funny I choose to pull my lips aside slightly rather than laugh out loud.

I cry frequently and I wish by God people around me won't realize it.

I usually answer something in an uncertainty way. When it's time to describe something, in 1-10 scale, my favorite is 5 or 6.

Maybe I'll look like a child who has been isolated from people for years, since she was born, so that she doesn't know how to react to something properly or how to show her emotion.

Actually I really WANT to be expressive! I want the world to know what I'm feeling, what I'm trying to say, and what I keep in silence.

This is really not good. I realize that it could possibly makes me an EXPLOSIVE person one day.

It's 3:55am now. I've should slept like a log at this hour. But I just can't. I even think I don't want to go to sleep at all. I'm not in a good mood to do anything, including sleeping. But sleeping is the most reasonable action to do with my current condition.

God, if I can't pause the time, let me have a 24hour-long sleep. I want to watch series of exciting dreams in my sleep. Can I? Please..

Hello World!
I'm sick to death, you know that!?


It's time to sleep! Bye Wordpad, good night XP, have a nice shutdown! :-*