Pada suatu sore di musim liburan akhir semester, seorang ayah melakukan panggilan kepada anaknya melalui telepon genggam untuk menanyakan apakah ia sudah sampai di tempat tujuannya. Pukul tujuh, si anak sampai di tempat yang dimaksud dan gusar mendapati ayahnya ternyata belum tiba untuk menjemput. Ia mondar-mandir sembari pasang tampang cemberut karena risih harus menunggu di tempat yang disesaki oleh wajah-wajah mencurigakan.
Sekitar lima belas menit berselang, akhirnya sang ayah datang. Si anak menghampiri dan mencium tangan, tetap dengan cemberut di wajah. Namun sebaliknya, wajah sang ayah nampak antusias menyambut anaknya. Si anak agak heran sebab jarang-jarang sang ayah menampakkan sikap yang terlalu manis padanya. Setelah itu mereka segera melaju meninggalkan tempat tersebut.
Di perjalanan, percakapan bergulir. Topik yang diangkat tidak lain tentang sesuatu yang paling umum dibicarakan orang tua dan anaknya setiap akhir semester; sehabis nilai-nilai akademik habis dibagikan.
Si anak hampir kebingungan mencari cara yang tepat untuk membeberkan alasan mengapa hampir semua nilainya turun semester ini. Ia memutar otak, mengkambinghitamkan segala hal yang bisa dikambinghitamkan. Sedikit poles di sini, tambal di sana, dan voila, jadilah alasan yang bisa membuat sang ayah mengangguk-angguk maklum. Si anak mengambil napas lega, meskipun tak bisa dipungkiri rasa bersalah tengah menggedor-gedor hatinya.
Bagaimana tidak, jika yang dikerjakannya sepanjang hari tidak pernah jelas.
Bagaimana tidak, jika yang ada di pikirannya hanya rencana tentang bagaimana di akhir pekan ia dan teman-temannya ber-have-fun-go-mad ria.
Saat French manicure dan model pakaian teranyar menjadi main issue dalam obrolan sehari-hari.
Saat majalah fesyen menggantikan posisi diktat kuliah.
Ia begitu sayang pada otaknya; tak pernah dibiarkannya sang otak bekerja terlalu berat
Ia jarang pergi kuliah, kalaupun kuliah bisanya cuma NYAMPAH!
“Sudah, akui saja. Bilang saja, ‘Yah, aku memang jarang kuliah. Kalaupun kuliah itu juga cuma buat syarat aja. Di kelas cuma bengang-bengong ga keruan. Terus terang, kerjaanku memang mainly cuma ngobrol-ngobrol ngga jelas atau malas-malasan seharian . Yaaa, ngga heran kan makanya nilaiku turun semua? O iya, uang bulanan dari Ayah bisa ditambah lagi ngga? Kurang tuh. Mana cukup segitu buat biaya ngegaul? Ngga mau tau, pokonya aku harus kelihatan oke di depan temen-temenku.’ Come on admit it, you little hypocrite!” Begitu kata sebuah suara di pikirannya yang berteriak-teriak mengejek. Ia menggeleng pelan, berusaha menepis suara jujur yang menyebalkan itu.
Si anak terdiam. Terbesit sesal dalam diamnya. Syukur ia masih diberi sesal. Entah bagaimana dia akan memaknai rasa sesal itu. (i.y)
Kisah di atas hanyalah karangan belaka. Jika ada pihak yang merasa tersindir karenanya,, ya baguslah..
Thursday, August 2
Jangan Nyampah Sembarangan!
Friend will always be friend (how sweet..)
Hey mate! Please don't be mad
I know what you're thinking
And thinking about what you think is saddening
Please try to understand
This is just an effort to have some fun
Life is hard and is getting harder for me right now
And I can't think of a better way to express myself
You can't fathom because you've got ALL that it takes to be happy!
You've got all that it takes to make me envy!
Please...
Whatever I do with my body, whatever I do with my style
I'm still a friend of yours, and it won't change a bit!
You know what? I'm glad that you care about me
You want to prevent people from thinking something bad about me
Hmm,,, It doesn't make any sense to you, does it?
But what can I say? I DID it
I'm childish, aren't I? I don't know, I don't care about it currently
But I promise you, from now on I won't disappoint you any further
Keep beside me, okay buddy?
Luv ya.
Emotion of Ms.Emotionless
August 3rd 2007, 2:12 AM
It's funny. I told myself not to go to sleep late few days ago, because I knew, I really knew, it's sickening waking up in the middle of the morning (what I mean is it's still morning but not morning enough, around 9-10am). I can't stand the blurry vision and dizzy sensation that strikes me if I do so. But what am I doing now? Finding myself don't want to go bed nor doing something I possibly would enjoy. I just thought that I wanted to type something, although I'm not enjoying it recently. I'm also not sure about what to type. Just type type type type,, I hope my fingers understand that their owner is just in a fucked up mental condition because she had to deal with fucked up situations in fucked up moments and it's all making her lost and just want to say FUCK. FUCK. FFFFFFFF.....FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKK!!!!
I'm not gonna sorry for being rude. I just wanna let loose.
I am not an expressive person. It's so not me to show my emotion in understandable words or action. Most of them are just meaningless body language.
I often say "Umm,,yea, maybe,," when I actually want to say "HELL NO!"
or I would prefer to say "Mm-Hmm,," rather than say "YES, ABSOLUTELY".
When I dislike something I think I'd better show a straight face rather than anger look.
When I hear joke or something funny I choose to pull my lips aside slightly rather than laugh out loud.
I cry frequently and I wish by God people around me won't realize it.
I usually answer something in an uncertainty way. When it's time to describe something, in 1-10 scale, my favorite is 5 or 6.
Maybe I'll look like a child who has been isolated from people for years, since she was born, so that she doesn't know how to react to something properly or how to show her emotion.
Actually I really WANT to be expressive! I want the world to know what I'm feeling, what I'm trying to say, and what I keep in silence.
This is really not good. I realize that it could possibly makes me an EXPLOSIVE person one day.
It's 3:55am now. I've should slept like a log at this hour. But I just can't. I even think I don't want to go to sleep at all. I'm not in a good mood to do anything, including sleeping. But sleeping is the most reasonable action to do with my current condition.
God, if I can't pause the time, let me have a 24hour-long sleep. I want to watch series of exciting dreams in my sleep. Can I? Please..
Hello World!
I'm sick to death, you know that!?
It's time to sleep! Bye Wordpad, good night XP, have a nice shutdown! :-*
